The old barn sat unassuming at the back of the property line. This place used to house the cows. But that had been years ago. Maybe some old equipment remained now. Otherwise the boarded gate made it too likely to collect snow in the winter. Owen had never bothered to re-purpose it.

Pleasant view though.

She sits another moment before gathering her things: the basket, Adrian’s old wooden knobs off his window sill, a pair of his socks. She recalled her own surprise at how much he’d left behind. He would notice she’d taken it surely. He would understand though.

A rustling sound pulled her from thought.

Behind her.

In the barn.

She walks around the opposite side to the entrance, slightly ajar. Leading with her shoulder she leans forcefully into the door. A deep, exasperated groan falls from the hinges and it gives.

The final light of the day illuminating only a portion of the the otherwise empty space around her.

“Peanut?” she calls. “Come back girl. You can’t be in here.”

A pungent smell hits her. Dampness perhaps, or oil, or rotted hay. How long had it been since anyone had been here? She’d never smelled anything so sour.

The thick air somehow dulled and intensified her other senses. Something was scraping along the back wall rhythmically, near where she had sat.

How different it was on this side. Even with the high up window. There was no view here.

She walks slowly down the aisle. The scraping stops.

“Peanut? Let’s go. Pspsps.”

A glance over the area around her proved fruitless. The old seeder, barrels on one side. A tool board along the other. Not much on it. No Peanut either.

Her heart pangs against the congested silence the filled the space. Her hand finds the socks lifted from his drawer in her basket and squeezes them. Why had she bothered with those. He hadn’t wanted them enough to pack.

Unless. A thought emerges. No way.

“Adrian?” the silliness of the premise forcing her voice to stay quiet. She holds her breath a moment and takes another step toward the back. “Is that you?”

The air stays in her chest. The scraping comes back.

“Grace?” a hoarse voice calls.

Her heart leaps and she runs toward the back wall, nearly throwing herself around the corner toward the livestock gate.

“Grace I’m here its me. It’s me. Don’t go.”

“Adrian oh my god-“ she falls to her knees and pulls him toward her. They stay that way for a while.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

He hyperventilates. “I didn’t leave. I wasn’t going to leave without you.”

She clings him to her. “I know, I know. I’m so sorry too.”

She presses her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around him.

“How long have you been here?” she asks, taking what little of him she could see.

“Since I saw you last.”

She falls silent.

Placing several passionate, relieved kisses on his head before standing and feeling around his neck. There, pulled tightly against the skin was a thick, rusted, chain.

Bile rises in her throat.

The cool, flaking metal scraped menacingly across her palms. Sweat coated them, making the chain links slippery and causing the rust to stick to her. She nearly throws herself away, the revulsion propelling her from him. No one did that to people. Not to their own children, not to Adrian.

She blinked several times, clearing her eyes of the impending tears and forcing them to refocus.

The chain was wrapped twice around his neck, taut against the skin. It felt like it had rubbed mercilessly, leaving the tissue raw and inflamed. Securing it was a large, equally rusted padlock, which sat unflinchingly above his shoulder blades. The base of it slid side to side with his breath, gently eating away at the skin, a crescent moon of bruising. Near his hairline he had both dried and fresh blood and blistered skin around the chain, obscuring the rust and giving the appearance of the metal having fused with his neck.

When had she started crying? The tears fell quickly and silently, her breath held mercilessly in her throat. She took a deep breath.

The smell hit her next. Sour, rotten. Everywhere. Her stomach seizes violently, the urge to gag paralyzing her.

His hand reached up behind his neck and rested on hers. The touch both calmed and repulsed her. Was this really him?

His calloused hands had been worn down and rendered raw, sienna toned rust embedded itself within the nail beds. His nails were jagged, the skin above them split in several places along the tips. They had bled a lot, she could tell.

The chain itself pulled her focus again. She could not believe how tight it was. It didn’t need to be like that.

She covers her mouth. “Your father did this to you?”

“Yeah. Right after we fought.” His voice is hoarse. Speaking sounded like it pained him. “I didn’t make it home after.”

Of course it had been Owen. Who else.

“Why?”

Adrian takes a long time to answer.

“He doesn’t want me to leave. With you, on my own, any of it.” His voice is scratchy, strained.

She kneels back down next to him, her hand finds his hair and slides it out of where it had stuck.

“But that’s insane! He can’t just do this to you.”

He nods slowly. Grabbing her hands in his and lowering them down into his lap, he stares into them.

“I’ve been hoping that you would come and find me.” He finally says, the quieter tone softening the scratching sound.

She squeezes his hands. “I’ve been looking! I’m sorry I took so long. I had to wait to search. Your father, Thomas, they all left a couple days ago. They said they were going to town. Looking for you.”

Adrian’s gaze lifts for a moment before dropping again. His grip on her hands loosens.

“A couple days ago?” he breathes. “They told you that?”

“Yes, they left Monday morning. Two days ago.”

His eyes water and he looks away. She reaches for him but feels his withdrawal into himself. A rock settled in her stomach on his behalf. They’d left him there. Who knew when they’d be back.

“But, once they had left I… I broke into your house. I went through everything. Your room, all of it.”

He sniffles. “You did?”

“Yes, I did it twice. I had to find you.” She keeps her tone soft, an attempt to comfort him. “I almost gave up the second time. Until I noticed your shoes were all there, in your room.”

The memory hits her harder once it is verbalized. “Your nicer shoes and your work boots and your casual ones. They were all there under your window sill. Your boots were still so dirty, so I cleaned them off for you and put them back.”

Adrian’s jaw tightens.

“I realized then that if you hadn’t taken any than either you were still here and hadn’t left or you were. Something had happened to you.”

She grips Adrian’s leg, pulling herself closer to him, the life in his body reassuring her and grounding her in the moment. She looks down his leg and sees his feet. Bare. Dozens of insect bites covered the tops of his feet. Dirt gathered between his toes.

She turns her head into Adrian’s chest, desperate to get away from this. How had he managed this long? Missing him was enough to make her want to end it all.

He cradles her and places his head near her ear. “I’m so happy to see you. I wasn’t sure if we’d be together again.”

Grace cries harder. “I thought you were dead.”

He leans into the back wall and guides her closer to him, between his legs. He doesn’t say anything else for a long time, running his hands over her back, soothing her.

“I’m so sorry about our fight.” He breaks the silence. “I didn’t mean what I said, that I was leaving.”
Grace looks up at him. “I’m so sorry too.”

“I wouldn’t ever go through with that without you.” He pleads, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

The chain catches her hair as she leans back into him. She sits back up in response. Adrian frees her hairs from it quickly. She watches his neck as he does this, each breath allowing small gasps of release from the tension before re-constricting against the swollen wounds. She shudders.

“Is it painful?”

His face tightens more as he nods. “It’s pretty tender yeah.”

She forces her tears back down her throat, swallowing hard. She wanted to hold him again. Forget all of this.

She back away and moves to get behind him.

“Let’s get this off you.”

He tilts his head back to lessen the shadow.

Grace touches along the chain and tries gently to release it from Adrian’s neck. Create some space, something. The metal was properly stuck. She had to insert one finger and wiggle it from side to side slowly to break its seal. Adrian lets out a sharp breath and winces. What had been done to him? Even trying to help was creating pain.

“Jesus, its really in there,” she huffs, “we could try the lock?”

Adrian averts his eyes. “I don’t know. The keys are probably with him, I doubt you’d find them in the house.”

She deflates. Adrian looks over his nail beds for a moment before tilting his head back again and staring at the ceiling.

“I’ve been trying and trying to get this off this while time but its been no use. We need something to break it if we’re not getting the keys.”

Grace rises to her feet and strokes his hair. “Lets see.”

She walks around the barn, checking each shelf, corner, nook and cranny for something that could help. Adrian watches her helplessly.

Nothing. Empty old crates, calving chain.

“I don’t see anything in here. I could go get Ethan?” she offers, “He would know, or maybe be able to help break it?”

Adrian shakes his head. “No. No one can know.”

Grace shakes her head, “What?! What are we going to do then? You cannot stay here, Adrian. No.”

“Grace-“

“No! Look at yourself! When was the last time you ate? Is he even giving you water?! He’s torturing you.”

“Grace, if people find out it will be a problem for everyone. My siblings, you. We can’t risk it. I can’t get him in any trouble.”

He searches Grace’s expression.

“Please, please, can we just figure this out together, get me out of here without involving anyone else.”

Her chest tightened.

“Adrian-“

“Please, Grace. Please. Then we can just get out of here. Go away. Like we’d been planning.”

She softens and sits near him again. He reaches for her, clinging to her.

“Can we just go back?” he whimpers, “before that awful fight we had. Please? I want to go back. It’s the only thing I want, Grace. You have to believe me.”

She tears up and turns away. “What am I supposed to do here then?”

He nods, still clinging to her, but his shoulders slightly relax.

“I don’t want you to suffer more. I want to forget about the fight. I regret it so much.”

He softens further. “I want that too. So much. I missed you.”

She presses her forehead against his shoulder. “I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry.”

They stay that way for a while.

Adrian speaks directly into her ear. “Love, I did mean it earlier. If other people find out about this, my Dad, we won’t be able to have this anymore. I’d be sent to work a state farm until Tom inherits in a couple years. We’d be separated at least until then.”
She grips his shirt. “They wouldn’t do that.”

He looks her in the eye. “We’re not married and there’s nothing in place saying we will be. They can and they will.”

A tingle runs up Grace’s spine. She shivers. “I don’t want that.”

Adrian strokes her chin with his thumb. “Neither do I. So its really important to me that no one finds out about this. At least not until there’s something to prevent that. An engagement or something. We could figure that out?”

She cries into him, “If things get worse though.”

He tenses viscerally and pulls her away, his eyes darting toward the door.

Steps outside.

“Grace you need to hide.” He hisses, urgent. “Hide. Now.”