Click on the scene to read. Scenes are uploaded out of order, so not all scenes are available. Some scenes have been revisited, these are indicated with v2, v3, etc. These track major revisions. I remove previous revisions when I update a scene. This outline may change, stay tuned.
I also give version updates and ideas for the scene to give some context if you are reading along. This is also where I dump my notes so they don’t clutter the scene pages themselves.
Part One: Grace and Adrian
Narrated entirely by Grace
Set at the farm and (briefly) in town
Section 1.1: Romance/Pastoral
1.1.0 (Prologue?) Fall Festival in Town
- Thomas and Mara meet.
- Grace and Adrian sneak off to do couple things.
- I don’t know if this is the opening, it is simply the earliest scene in the timeline of the story’s events.
1.1.1 (Six months later, in the spring) Grace and Adrian meet at the fence
- This scene (v1) is waiting on a major revision that depends on what I do with the friend scenes. TBA.
1.1.2 A few days later, Adrian works in the field
- Lore dump: Emma and Ethan, Lower borns as a concept, the birth-order inheritance system as experienced by lower borns.
- Adrian is physically uncomfortable most of the time.
1.1.3 Grace Drops By Unannounced
1.1.4 Grace and Adrian Picnic Scene + Dreams (happy version)
- This is the first half of the scene. I am hashing out the back end, will be in the next big update. Current version is in its third version. I am trying to show two things: (1) Grace and Adrian live in their own world, and (2) The “adults” (Owen, Rook, Grace’s Mother) all want Grace to care more about them/their business but this is not not happening. Grace loops Thomas in with the “adults” even though Thomas does not count himself there.
1.1.6 Grace’s Parents Discuss Her Inheritance, Owen
1.1.7 Gift scene, Verity’s Inheritance Party
- There is a draft of the gift scene on my character sketch page, it is example 1.
- Verity’s party TBA.
1.1.8 Barn Visit #1 / Adrian’s Second Shift
- This version (v2) is incomplete. I end it when they enter Grace’s barn, but eventually I will have the entire scene in there as well.
1.1.9 Grace and Adrian Together, they discuss getting married, moving away, future (sad?).
1.1.10 Grace gets the details of her inheritance, her relatives are not happy to learn Grace plans to involve Adrian in the running of business. She will inherit sooner than planned.
1.1.11 Grace isn’t sure what to do / Adrian and Owen butt heads
1.1.12 Grace tells Adrian that they aren’t going away. Adrian is angry, they argue.
Section 1.2: Suspense/Yearn
1.2.1 “Adrian isn’t working today.”
- Not sure that the tone switch from Romance –> Suspense is landing here as well as it could and as much as I want it to. Later version (probably v3) will focus more on Grace’s reaction to what Owen says. Here I am not convinced she goes far enough, but I do like the scene as it is.
1.2.2 That evening, Thomas confronts Grace.
- V1. This works, it gets the point across and lets Grace read Thomas as caring before he becomes suspicious later.
- At the same time she tells him a diluted version of their fight, which I like for her character but HATE otherwise. I think she tells him too much. A later version will fix this, but functional for now.
1.2.3 Day 2. Grace’s parents invite Adrian’s family over for dinner.
1.2.4 Dinner Scene #2
1.2.5 Day 4. Grace and Thomas talk at the fence. Thomas leaves for town. Grace is suspicious of him.
1.2.6 Day 5. Owen asks Grace to house sit.
1.2.7 Day 5. Owen takes Hannah and Caroline into town to look for Adrian. He does not say when they will be back.
1.2.8 Day 6. Grace and Emma work in the kitchen.
1.2.9 Day 6. Grace waters Owen’s plants. Pokes around their house.
1.2.10 Day 7. Repeat. She searches the bedrooms and other belongings in the house.
1.2.11 Day 8. Repeat. None of Adrian’s belongings are missing. She takes a longer walk back home and takes a break.
1.2.12 Day 8. Grace goes into the barn.
- Paired with 1.3.1, 1.3.2 as a long sequence.
Section 1.3: Horror
1.3.1 Adrian tells Grace what happened.
- I am currently choosing between three versions of this scene. This and 1.2.12 are one large scene. Coming soon. I am having some difficulty with the moment where the horror lands for Grace.
1.3.2 Grace tries a series of tools. Crowbar, saw, bolt cutters. No luck.
1.3.3 Day 9. Testing lock picks.
- Really love the way this scene unfolded despite its length. The repetition with the lock picks works well, though I think v3 will give a better transition from the intense description of the process through the rhythmic “they tried a few more” section to make it flow better.
- There is a weird energy between Grace and Adrian here that I am digging but could be made more explicit. I think the scene shows how they work on each other. However, I could give Grace more of a reaction to Adrian’s distress later, especially after Thomas arrives, and her instinct is to distract him.
- Still working on the beat for Thomas. In v1 he calls out to Adrian directly, as Grace does in 1.3.1. I thought this was to obvious since Grace needs to come to believe Thomas is in on it. So I made his words more vague. I think the emotion could be tightened in v3. He and Adrian are clearly having a siblings moment Grace isn’t part of. Eventually Thomas will become suspicious. But here we get some emotion before that happens.
1.3.4 Day 10. Grace tries to get into Thomas’ tool shed, cannot.
1.3.5 Day 11. The family returns to the farm, Mara is with them.
1.3.6 Day 11. Grace overhears Owen in the barn, questioning Adrian. Barn Visit #2 (very late at night).
1.3.7. Day 12. Grace visits the blacksmith in town.
1.3.8 Barn Visit #3 (She tells him she won’t be in the next day, friends).
1.3.9 Day 13. Mara arrives to Grace’s house and settles in.
1.3.10 Grace’s friends come over to distract her (intro to Blythe, Verity, Cale).
1.3.11. Barn Visit #4 (Adrian rejects Grace’s advances).
1.3.12 Day 14 + 15, Grace and Mara make friends. Grace fantasizes. Barn Visit #5 (Polite but awkward).
1.3.13 Day 16. Owen and Mara talk about the business at Grace’s house. They ask Grace for her input. Barn Visit #6.
1.3.14 Barn Visit #7.
- This scene is sort of “the beginning of the end.” Grace is tired of Adrian, she’s judging him, etc. On the flip side he isn’t performing interest in her or receiving her in a way that makes her care feel special, and this wears on her. Barn visits 7-9 are setting up the breakup scene.
- Needs one more dialogue exchange before the ointment jar is thrown. After Grace’s “…not be so difficult” and before Adrian’s “…watch me suffer?” that amps Grace up enough to do it. At present it happens too fast and seems to be the escalation, not a response to Adrian’s escalation.
- Think I also need more space between when she sits in the grass and then goes back in. I think a potential solution would be to have Adrian call after her, state some need, etc. Have him make her feel needed and that is what turns her mood around.
- Regardless I do like how judgmental Grace is. Easy to get caught up in the angst while writing this type of material. It is fun to be a little unironically rude (lol).
1.3.15 Day 18. Grace partially inherits. She now controls her parents’ farmland and the household. Parents are putting more time into their in town operation. Barn Visit #8 (Uneventful).
1.3.16 Day 19. Owen and Thomas visit again. They toast the future. Barn Visit #9 (perfunctory).
1.3.17 Barn Visit #10. Grace Breaks Up with Adrian.
- v4 will be a rewrite of the opening half of this. It’s clumsy. The back half lands really well, I love the dialogue but Grace’s narration is not where I want it to be.
1.3.19 Overnight Day 23-24. Barn Visit #13.
1.3.20 Grace bring Adrian home with her, but Thomas is there.
- This scene is in rough shape in my Scrivener. After writing 1.3.16-1.3.19 the contents of my current version no longer line up, so this is currently getting a rewrite.
1.3.21 The Surgeon Offers Some Perspective
- This scene works in theory? I think the horror lands, however this is also a moment where Grace needs to be read as controlling. Not sure that is landing yet, but the developments to 1.3.20 should help.
Part Two: Thomas
Narrated by Thomas unless otherwise stated
Set in town, Grace’s house, Owen’s farm
Section 2.1
2.1.1 Thomas Assists the Surgeon, then prepares to leave town
- There is a draft of this as example 3 on the character sketch page.
- (A) Final Evening in Town (v2). This little moment I absolutely love. The dialogue is kind of silly which I think is fun, and it gives what I think is the first time I’ve been able to write Thomas when he is fully relaxed and open.He seems more present on this page than he is elsewhere, which I what I was going for.
- (B) Trip Back to the Farm (v2). This is a return to Thomas’ standard. I think I have done alright with showing the building anxiety. Part of this is the thinking about the situation, that maybe he didn’t have a good choice. I also wanted it to be an explanatory feeling he is expecting, which gives some interiority. Being at the farm fuels his anxiety, being away from it relieves it. He’s not attributing this to Mara’s questioning, which I like. V3 will connect to earlier parts of the scene.
2.1.3 Mara re vamps the farms operation.
2.1.4 Thomas returns to the farm alone.
2.1.5 Thomas’ first visit to Adrian
2.1.6 Thomas and Owen argue about the farm, inheritance, Adrian
2.1.7 Owen’s first visit to Grace (Grace narrates)
- Next version will have Owen not give up so easily. This seems too neat.
2.1.8 Grace is avoiding Adrian (Grace narrates)
2.1.9 Thomas’ second visit to Adrian, with siblings
2.1.10 Thomas resumes lessons with Hannah and Caroline
2.1.11 The Second Society
2.1.12 Mara moves into the apartment in town
2.1.13 Thomas and Mara exchange letters
Section 2.2
Narrated by Grace
2.2.15: Grace and Adrian Fight, Adrian Moves Out.
Section 2.3
Narrated by Grace and Thomas
Structure TBA, may be re-allocated throughout 2.2 but undecided for now.
Part Three: TBA
Narrated by Adrian
Set in the city, ending on the farm
- A draft version of this scene is on the character sketch page. It is example 4 (scroll toward the bottom).
Structure TBA
Plot Thoughts 