Click on the scene to read. Scenes are uploaded out of order, so not all scenes are available. Some scenes have been revisited, these are indicated with v2, v3, etc. These track major revisions. I remove previous revisions when I update a scene, I am updating the post itself. If I think its a big deal, I’ll make a new post for a big update. This outline may change.
I also give version updates and ideas for the scene to give some context if you are reading along. This is also where I dump my notes so they don’t clutter the scene pages themselves.
Part One: Grace
Narrated entirely by Grace
Set at the farm
Section 1.1: Romance/Pastoral
UPDATE MAY 6/2026: Ignore this entire section I have realized it will come later on once I have an idea of where part 2 goes.
UPDATE APRIL 20/2026: This section is being re-structured and the outline here is no longer valid. New version fixes the opening and establishes the middle sections of the story more strongly. Leaving it here until I can spend some time redoing the links to the scenes in their new spots.
1.1.0 Prologue
1.1.1
1.1.2
1.1.3
1.1.4
- This is the first half of the scene. I am hashing out the back end, will be in the next big update. Current version is in its third version. I am trying to show two things: (1) Grace and Adrian live in their own world, and (2) The “adults” (Owen, Rook, Grace’s Mother) all want Grace to care more about them/their business but this is not not happening. Grace loops Thomas in with the “adults” even though Thomas does not count himself there.
1.1.6
1.1.7 Gift scene, Verity’s Inheritance Party
- There is a draft of the gift scene on my narrator page, it is example 1.
- Verity’s party gives intro to G’s friends.
- This version (v2) is incomplete. I end it when they enter Grace’s barn, I think it might go farther than the current fade to black but not sure yet.
- May 6/2026: Update POV. For reasons I don’t have an explanation for I had A narrate this but that makes no sense lol. G needs to.
1.1.9
1.1.10
1.1.11
1.1.12
Section 1.2: Suspense
1.2.1 “Adrian isn’t working today.”
- Not sure that the tone switch from Romance –> Suspense is landing here as well as it could and as much as I want it to. Later version (probably v3) will focus more on Grace’s reaction to what Owen says. Here I am not convinced she goes far enough, but I do like the scene as it is.
- I feel that I am reaching here looking for an image. The hyacinths feel too obvious.
1.2.2 That evening, Thomas confronts Grace.
- V1. This works, it gets the point across and lets Grace read Thomas as caring before he becomes suspicious later.
- At the same time she tells him a diluted version of their fight (what slur??), which I like for her character but HATE otherwise. I think she tells him too much. A later version will fix this, but functional for now.
- Update May 6/2026: Where is Thomas? Not here. He’s too generic. Its too convenient. Reading this back, I think I went way harder on figuring out Grace’s path through the scene that I ended up structuring Thomas around that instead of figuring him out too. He’s only really reacting and asking the questions Grace needs to answer, I’m definitely prioritizing her over him. That’s fine since its her moment of “oh shit what does he think” but v2 will need to Thomas-ify his half of the conversation. I think he pushes her a little.
1.2.3 Grace’s parents invite Adrian’s family over for dinner.
1.2.4 Dinner Scene #2
1.2.5 Grace and Thomas talk at the fence. Thomas leaves for town. Grace is suspicious of him.
1.2.6 Owen asks Grace to house sit.
1.2.7 Owen takes Hannah and Caroline into town to look for Adrian. He does not say when they will be back.
1.2.8 Grace and Emma work in the kitchen.
1.2.9
1.2.10 Repeat.
1.2.11 Repeat. None of Adrian’s belongings are missing. She takes a longer walk back home and takes a break.
1.2.12 Grace goes into the barn.
- Paired with 1.3.1, 1.3.2 as a long sequence.
Section 1.3: Horror
1.3.1 Adrian tells Grace what happened.
- I am currently choosing between three versions of this scene. This and 1.2.12 are one large scene. I am having some difficulty with the moment where the horror lands for Grace.
1.3.2 Grace tries a series of tools. No luck.
1.3.3 Grace tries to get into the tool shed. The family returns to the farm, Mara is with them. Thomas asks Grace to house Mara for a while. Grace goes home.
1.3.4 Barn Visit #2. Grace overhears Owen in the barn.
1.3.5 Grace meeting scene, Rook, Mara, Inheritance people.
- April 20/2026: Holy past/present tense confusion. Next v will address. The change between Grace’s action being present tense and her interiority past is an intentional choice but right now I’m not doing it consistently. Did a surface pass over to catch typos and anything glaring. The tense thing is too much to fix right now.
- April 15/2026: Really love the way this scene unfolded despite its length. The repetition with the lock picks works well, though I think v3 will give a better transition from the intense description of the process through the rhythmic “they tried a few more” section to make it flow better.
- There is a weird energy between Grace and Adrian here that I am digging but could be made more explicit. I think the scene shows how they work on each other. However, I could give Grace more of a reaction to Adrian’s distress later, especially after Thomas arrives, and her instinct is to distract him.
- Still working on the beat for Thomas. In v1 he calls out to Adrian directly, as Grace does in 1.3.1. I thought this was too obvious since Grace needs to come to believe Thomas is in on it. So I made his words more vague. I think the emotion could be tightened in v3. He and Adrian are clearly having a siblings moment Grace isn’t part of but that isn’t landing as hard as I want it to.
1.3.7. Grace visits the blacksmith in town (harder than it looks!)
1.3.8 Barn Visit #4.
1.3.9 Grace’s friends come over.
- They do this by trashing her loser boyfriend who totally ditched her.
- This turns into an excuse to say bigoted things about lower borns.
1.3.10 Barn Visit #5. Grace goes to the barn after her friends leave. She brings nothing. Adrian rejects her.
1.3.11 Owen/Mara/Grace scene.
1.3.12 Barn Visit #6. Awkward.
1.3.13 Owen/Grace. “Looking for a handout / Nothing is ever his fault.”
1.3.14 Barn Visit #7. Ointment jar.
- Past/present tense again. Next v will address.
- This scene is sort of “the beginning of the end.” Grace is tired of Adrian, she’s judging him, etc. On the flip side he isn’t performing interest in her or receiving her in a way that makes her care feel special, and this wears on her. Barn visits 7-9 are setting up the breakup scene.
- Needs one more dialogue exchange before the ointment jar is thrown. After Grace’s “…not be so difficult” and before Adrian’s “…watch me suffer?” that amps Grace up enough to do it. At present it happens too fast and seems to be the escalation, not a response to Adrian’s escalation.
- Think I also need more space between when she sits in the grass and then goes back in. I think a potential solution would be to have Adrian call after her, state some need, etc. Have him make her feel needed and that is what turns her mood around.
- Regardless I do like how judgmental Grace is. Easy to get caught up in the angst while writing this type of material. It is fun to be a little unironically rude (lol). Grace comes off almost laughably badly with her “you’re not the only one here.” she’s quoting Owen here, it lands weirdly but in context it’ll work.
1.3.15 Grace inherits.
1.3.16 Barn Visit #8. Adrian doesn’t waste anything.
1.3.17 Thomas and Owen visit.
1.3.18 Barn Visit #9.
1.3.19 Grace and her family.
1.3.20 Barn Visit #10. Grace Breaks Up with Adrian.
- v4 will be a rewrite of the opening half of this. It’s clumsy. The back half lands really well, I love the dialogue but Grace’s narration is not where I want it to be.
- I’m way overusing the whalebone. Cut a few of those.
- v3.5 cuts some sentences from the opening and tightens slightly. Still not loving.
1.3.21 Barn Visit #11 and Barn Visit #12.
- v3 replaces the opening of the scene through to the point when Adrian throws the pills. Back end is untouched, need to redo the beating section, due to part two updates I need to tone it down. Not in terms of intensity, I like the register I chose for that part, he needs to be less injured at the end of this.
1.3.23 Home.
- This scene is in rough shape in my Scrivener. After writing the lead up to this, the contents of my current version no longer line up, so this is currently getting a rewrite.
- This scene works in theory? I think the horror lands, however this is also a moment where Grace needs to be read as controlling. Not sure that is landing yet, but the developments to 1.3.23 should help.
Part Two: Thomas
Narrated mostly by Thomas
Set in town, Grace’s house, Owen’s farm
Section 2.1
2.1.1 Thomas Assists the Surgeon, then prepares to leave town
- There is a draft of this as example 3 on the character sketch page. This is prob getting cut up?
- (A) Final Evening in Town (v2). This little moment I absolutely love. The dialogue is kind of silly which I think is fun, and it gives what I think is the first time I’ve been able to write Thomas when he is fully relaxed and open.He seems more present on this page than he is elsewhere, which I what I was going for.
- (B) Trip Back to the Farm (v2). This is a return to Thomas’ standard. I think I have done alright with showing the building anxiety. Part of this is the thinking about the situation, that maybe he didn’t have a good choice. I also wanted it to be an explanatory feeling he is expecting, which gives some interiority. Being at the farm fuels his anxiety, being away from it relieves it. He’s not attributing this to Mara’s questioning, which I like. V3 will connect to earlier parts of the scene.
2.1.3 Mara re vamps the farms operation.
2.1.4 Thomas returns to the farm alone.
2.1.5 Thomas’ first visit to Adrian
2.1.6 Thomas and Owen argue about the farm, inheritance, Adrian
2.1.7 Owen’s first visit to Grace (Grace narrates)
- Next version will have Owen not give up so easily. This seems too neat.
2.1.8 Grace is avoiding Adrian (Grace narrates)
2.1.9 Thomas’ second visit to Adrian, with siblings
2.1.10 Thomas resumes lessons with Hannah and Caroline
2.1.11 The Second Society
2.1.12 Mara moves into the apartment in town
2.1.13 Thomas and Mara exchange letters
Section 2.2
Narrated by Grace
2.2.15: Grace and Adrian Fight, Adrian Moves Out.
Section 2.3
Narrated by Grace and Thomas
Structure TBA, may be re-allocated throughout 2.2 but undecided for now.
Part Three: TBA
Narrated by Adrian
Set in the city, ending on the farm
- A draft version of this scene is on the character sketch page. It is example 4 (scroll toward the bottom).
Structure TBA
Plot Thoughts 